{"product_id":"the-cabbage-merchant-sexy-pin-up-proxy-deck-mono-green-food-mayhem","title":"The Cabbage Merchant — Sexy Pin-Up Proxy Deck | Mono-Green Food Mayhem","description":"\u003cp\u003eA Sexy, Silly, Suspiciously Powerful Mono-Green Food Commander Deck (Custom Proxy)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome, traveler… care to browse my wares?\u003cbr\u003eThey’re fresh.\u003cbr\u003eThey’re green.\u003cbr\u003eThey’re wearing very little cabbage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing The Cabbage Merchant, a custom proxy Commander deck where Food tokens are currency, creatures, and crimes against balance—all wrapped in a retro pin-up fantasy that would make a farmer blush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🌱 Gameplay: Farm-to-Table-to-Total Annihilation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis deck doesn’t just make Food.\u003cbr\u003eIt abuses it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🥬 Cook up mountains of Food tokens\u003cbr\u003e🥬 Spend Food on mana, value engines, and wildly irresponsible plays\u003cbr\u003e🥬 Use Food for things Food was never meant to do\u003cbr\u003e🥬 Animate your groceries into hulking monsters\u003cbr\u003e🥬 End games by beating people to death with enchanted produce\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour opponents will laugh.\u003cbr\u003eThen they’ll panic.\u003cbr\u003eThen they’ll ask to read your cards. Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎨 Art Direction: Pin-Up, Produce, Perfection\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery proxy features classic retro pin-up models styled with:\u003cbr\u003e✨ Cabbage-leaf lingerie\u003cbr\u003e✨ Vintage glam poses\u003cbr\u003e✨ Flirtatious expressions\u003cbr\u003e✨ Extremely proud vegetables\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs it sexy? Yes.\u003cbr\u003eIs it silly? Also yes.\u003cbr\u003eIs it a conversation starter? Absolutely unavoidable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 What’s in the Basket?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧺 Full 100-card Commander deck\u003cbr\u003e🧺 High-quality printed custom proxies\u003cbr\u003e🧺 Cohesive pin-up cabbage theme throughout\u003cbr\u003e🧺 Ready to sleeve, shuffle, and scandalize your Commander pod\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e🌿 Casual Commander nights\u003cbr\u003e🌿 Proxy-friendly tables\u003cbr\u003e🌿 Food-token degenerates\u003cbr\u003e🌿 Players who believe green decks should be funny AND terrifying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ Important (But Boring) Stuff\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• This is a proxy deck (not tournament legal)\u003cbr\u003e• Not affiliated with Wizards of the Coast\u003cbr\u003e• Intended for adult players with a sense of humor and a love of camp\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🥬 Final Pitch from the Merchant Herself\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you enjoy:\u003cbr\u003e✔ Big dumb green value\u003cbr\u003e✔ Turning snacks into weapons\u003cbr\u003e✔ Retro pin-up aesthetics\u003cbr\u003e✔ And winning games with a wink\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen The Cabbage Merchant is open for business.\u003cbr\u003e**Shipping \u0026amp; Details:**\u003cbr\u003e- Fast turnaround! Your custom proxy will ship in 3-5 business days upon proof approval.\u003cbr\u003e- Cards are shipped safely in protective packaging.\u003cbr\u003e- These proxies are **for casual play only** and not tournament-legal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're upgrading your favorite deck or creating a unique gift for an MTG-loving friend, these custom proxy cards are the perfect way to personalize your Magic experience. Let’s create something special together!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Proxima Nocta","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43953396547693,"sku":null,"price":57.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0688\/6660\/5165\/files\/0d175631-il_fullxfull.7647956021_deem.jpg?v=1770221529","url":"https:\/\/acjhmr-ej.myshopify.com\/products\/the-cabbage-merchant-sexy-pin-up-proxy-deck-mono-green-food-mayhem","provider":"Proxima Nocta","version":"1.0","type":"link"}